“because i said so”

Sometime back I had a disagreement with someone and the matter was closed by 4 simple words, “because I said so.” ‘Unfair’ was the word that immediately sprang to my mind. Why should I kowtow or make ammends in my decision only because somebody said so? Absolutely unfair and unethical. But then again who said life is fair.

When I was young, my mother curbed my rebellious streak by using these words (well she still does, got no choice:-)). Be it home or school/college or work if what you consider as nectar is poison for somebody else, then you have to do as you are told to do. If we see the larger picture, then we have the government springing ridiculous decisions in the name of laws and under the facade of protecting citizens. And the law abiding citizens that most of us are (at least we try to and don’t openly flaunt the rules) we have to comply only because they said so. No music after 10pm meant losing the old world charm of festivities or having a Beyonce or I-rock to wrap up hastily, no dancing after 1.30am meant spending almost Rs. 800-1500/- bucks on cover charges and getting only a couple of hours to let your hair down after a back breaking week (considering that most of us manage to hit the discs only around 10pm or so).

Looking back I realise that I too am not absolved of any guilt ‘coz I often bullied my brother with these words. Being 6 years younger than me he had no choice. There were times when I could feel the anger simmering in him, fists tightening, jaws cleching, but he still did what I told him to anyway. My friend’s sister always says “jiski awaaz uski jeet.” In other words “might is right.”   

 Well I guess its a chain reaction. Parents give grief to each other who pass it to their children who pass it to their younger siblings who in turn pass it to their pet animals or favourite teddy bears, toys, etc. (I remember doing that to my teddy as a child. Perhaps had it been living, it might have been able to empathise with me). At work, you have the top brass dictating terms to the second-in-commands who in turn percolate it to their lower downs. What no one realises is that at the end of the day we are all ‘humans first’. Living, breathing, feeling, rife with emotions. We too feel hurt. Just because there’s no one above the powers to be, how right is it to subjugate somebody else? Are my feelings, emotions of no importance or do I as an individual not matter to be dictated orders and expected to follow just because somebody said so.

To hell with that somebody. Or anybody for that matter. It’s my life, it’s my way or the highway…I can express it in so many terms, but…is anybody listening? Well no one needs to just “because I said so.”

boss’ day out

October 16 was International Boss’ Day, though previously I wasn’t aware of its existence. Which got me thinking about the fact that how offices have become second homes and colleagues second families. And the most important of them all – the big B.

Boss…the word itself conjures up many images. Of someone stern, gentle, ruthless, lovable, aggressive, compassionate, young, old, married, single, man, woman, etc. etc. In my 7 years of career I too have come across many bosses that fit into the the above mentioned categories. I may have hated them then or loved them, but today I realise that each one of them have in some way or the other contributed to my professional journey.

Jaideep, Sumant, Elvis, Roma and Valerie have all been part of this journey having left some bitter-sweet impressions. However the 3 names that will be forever etched in my mind are Lovetto, Mario and Deanne. With a firm hand and a tender heart, they have guided me not just through my professional but also my personal life. Deanne being my current superior still continues to do so…no wonder we call her Mother D:-).

Mario and Lovetto, I have shared many joys and sorrows, laughter and tears. Its great to still be in touch with them and know that they still care for me. Be it the times when we had to sell raddi to pay our vouchers or stay overnight to work on review presentations, we have seen it all and sailed through it all.

So on this day, I want to take the opportunity to Thank the 3 of you. You have been the best bosses I have had.    

     

license to kill, anyone?

“Shoot all the Bluejays you want,

If you can hit’em, but remember

It’s a sin to kill a Mockingbird”

So said the lawyer Atticus to his children Jem and Scout as he went about defending a black man in a society dominated by whites in Harper Lee’s classic ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’.

Well, somewhere in the 21st century we too are the bluejays or mockingbirds (depends on the situation). Hurt and abused. By the government, by the hoodlums, by the rich to the middle class, middle class to the poor and poor to anybody and everybody. Sometimes the hunter, sometimes the hunted. Either a predator or a prey, we do end up falling into one of the two options. 

Why is it that some sections of society are privileged enough to commit an act and get away with it? And I am not talking of the rich-poor divide as recent incidents have shown that even celebrities don’t go scott free. Why is it that justice is forever delayed and in many cases denied? Why do names like Salman, Sanjay, Alistair, Adnan become synonymous with their actions? Why is a Rizwanur murdered for marrying a Hindu girl or a Pooja Chauhan reduced to taking to the streets in her bare essentials to highlight domestic abuse? Why do corrupt officials end up with pay in their pockets and honest whistleblowers paying with their life? Why have words like ‘mowed down’, ‘ran over’, ‘gunned down’, ‘burnt to death’ become commonplace in our media articles?

These are questions that have no answers. Ironically in a democratic country the voice that raises these issues is also stifled at the first instance. Where are we heading as a nation? Most of our brain is abroad and the drain left behind is polluting us behind a facade of spotless white kurta-pyjama.

I am reminded of two lines by the poet Rabindranath Tagore:

“Where the mind is without fear, and the head is held high

Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.”

Its time we woke up from our hibernation and shook off our lethargy. Its time we took the bull by it’s horns. Its time we stopped people from acquiring a license to kill.

 

chak de india

Well…well…I have been rather late in getting on to the Indian success story bandwagon. But as they say, “better late than never”.

So team India has been on a winning spree. And by this I don’t just mean the Twenty20 (T20) Cup against Pakistan but also the Nehru Cup International Football Tournament against Syria and the Asia Cup (for Hockey) against South Korea. 3 consecutive wins in a matter of 2 months is no mean feat. Either the Gods (and India has 360 crores of Gods) were more than generous with us or we really came of age. Either ways the spotlight for now is definitely on brand India (never mind the ODI loss against Australia).

And the one movie that did make all the difference, Chak de India, has definitely reached the Hall of Fame with other classics. Not because it was a path breaking movie nor because it dealt with hockey and definitely not because it had SRK. The only reason the movie will be etched in our memories forever and passeddown to other generations is because its release brought us 3 successive Trophies.

Chak de India couldn’t have been released at a more appropriate time. Shimit Amin (the director) will surely be a happy man ‘coz his simple story achieved what one of the magnam opus of our times ‘Lagaan’ (based on the most popular sport of India) did not. It not only highlighted the plight of our national sport (hockey) languishing in the corridors but also turned the focus on other sports like football, chess, athletics, tennis and the list goes on. It also got the people and media to raise questions on lack of sponsors and state-of-the-art training facilities of other sportsmen. Well, for once the authorities were left speechless.

However post T20, the Voice of India seems to be falling on deaf ears ‘coz whilst the newly crowned cricket champs are being loaded with cash, houses, swanky cars and a fresh lot of endorsements, our hockey players are forced to go on hunger strikes to give them due recognition too. Which indeed is a grave situation for India considering that we are poised for the big leap on the world map.

Imagine if all other sports but cricket ceased to exist, where would a chunk of our 1.1 billion population do. Cricket just needs 11 players. Well maybe to an extent you can have different teams for ODIs, Test, County, T20, etc. But the number of players actually getting a chance to play will still be somewhere within 100 (pardon my math). So where will the other enthusiasts go. Are we ready to sacrifice all other sports at the alter of cricket. India gave hockey & kabaddi to the world. Ironically we are no longer front runners here. Like England who gave us cricket but sadly have David Beckham making more news than a Paul Collingwood.

But it’s the law of nature that what goes up always comes down and vice versa. So hopefully there will be a day when we will proudly display our merits in different sports. After all, a country that plays together stays together 🙂